bare with me

Okay, this whole blog is going to sound really bad and like I'm up myself, but I'm not. Keep in mind: I'm simply making an observation.
My whole life, well, not my whole life, but since I was interested in boys I've been able to pretty much have any guy I wanted. I don't think I'm hot stuff or anything, but I wanted a guy and I got him, that's just how it worked. And now... that's not the case. I'm not sure if my taste has grown and I'm just going for better guys that know they'r ebetter, and can get better than me? Or if I used to be baben' and now I'm just Ash? Hahaha, this topic is silly but it was on my mind. OR, if guys are just evolving and having higher standards? Whatever the case, I don't like it. I re-he-he-healy like this guy and I'm pretty sure he couldn't care less. Sometimes life sucks like that.
But it's not all about relationships or 'hook-ups' at all. Although those small things make you - make me - happy it's about living souly for my King. It's hard but lately I've also been thinking about completely handing my life over to Jesus and living for him, talking for him, breathing for him, and ewven sleeping for him. Because he deserves that! If he was willing to give up his son for me, I can give my life to him!
In Matthew it says to "Seek first the kingdom of God. The promise is made that if we seek it first, and its righteousness, all earthly wants will be supplied." God knows what I want, I just have to wait for it and press into God! He will give me the desires of my heart!
Patience
God is able